


Chaos

by DanieXJ



Series: Fixing the Wrongs [3]
Category: ER, Grey's Anatomy, Guiding Light, Stargate SG-1
Genre: Christmas, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-08
Updated: 2010-01-08
Packaged: 2017-11-20 19:49:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/589022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DanieXJ/pseuds/DanieXJ
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Christmas with Kerry, Kim, and their friends and family. </p><p>Chaos, it's what happens after dinner.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place 8 months after The Simple and the Complicated. December 2010.

Kerry stood in her entrance way and stared into her living room. It was chaos. A chaos that made her ER look orderly. Her birth mother was lecturing her son in a loud voice, her ex-husband was nearly red yelling at Randi. Abby and Randi were giving as good as they got. Luka was actually holding Randi back, barely keeping her from attacking Todd. Maggie had a slightly more gentle restraining arm around her daughter as well. Even Carlos was in on the action as he was faced off against of all people, "Kim?"

Kerry still hadn't moved from the entrance way, even still had on her coat. She mumbled to herself, "First rule of an accident site, don't create more casualties. Including yourself." She waited for peple to cool down, but no one seemed to be even near that point.

Then her son burst into tears and Kerry couldn't observe anymore. She strode into the room and as she predicted half of the room was happy to see her, the other wasn't. Then there was Henry and Kim. Henry dashed over to his mother and Kerry picked him up with only a little groan. "You're almost too big for this Henry. Hey, it's okay, it's okay."

And then there was Kim. Kerry couldn't tell what Kim was thinking by the look on her face. She just stood perfectly still, her arms crossed protectively over her chest.

Kerry whispered to her son, "Where are Joe and Jules?"

Henry sniffled, "My room."

Kerry pushed Henry's bangs from his eyes. "You need a haircut. Will you go keep 'em company? Okay? I'll be right in."

Henry nodded, "May I take them desert Mama? I know, no cookies in bed, but..."

"It's okay. Just put them on a plate, okay?"

Henry nodded and Kerry let him down. She turned to face her living room full of people once again and in an unearthly calm voice spoke, "What the hell is wrong with you people?"


	2. Chapter One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think that the line that is my favorite of anything I've ever written, original or Fanfic is the first line of this chapter. The question Henry asks his mother.

** 2 Days Earlier - December 23rd, 2010 **

"Can I be Jewish Mama? Can we make a Menorah?"

"Hanukkah was at the beginning of the month Henry."

Henry sighed and resumed squeezing frosting on the cooling sugar cookies. "It's a cooler story than Christmas."

"How about next year, we'll set up a menorah and between now and then you can read all about it."

Henry nodded, "Do you know somebody Mama?"

"I know a lot of people Henry."

"Mama... someone Jewish."

Kerry pulled out another batch of Christmas cookies from the oven. "I'll see." She put down her oven mitts and ruffled Henry's hair, "That good enough for you champ?"

Henry nodded, "Can you help me please? The frosting's not squishy anymore."

She stood behind Henry, who sat on a high kitchen stool, put her hands over Henry's and they both squeezed.

They were nearly done when Juliana toddled into the room, "Mama..."

Kerry picked up the two year old. "So, I'm betting you want to try a cookie, you little cookie monster."

Juliana practically fell out of Kerry's arms as she reached for one. Surprisingly it was Henry who spoke to his little sister, "Can't have one 'cause it's before dinner. Wanna play?" She didn't look like she wanted to play, but to have a cookie, but Henry wasn't done with his distraction. "You can use my Nemo coloring book a little."

That beat cookies by a mile and little Juliana wiggled until Kerry let her down and she ran, a bit unsteadily, after her older brother.

Kerry watched them go and started cleaning up the mess she, with a bit of help from Henry had made. The doorbell rang and Kerry wiped her hands. She beat her kids to the door and opened it. "Fiona. Right on time."

Fiona Legaspi slipped in the door and shook her head a bit, snow flying to and fro. A flake landed on Henry's nose and he sneezed. Fiona looked sheepish as she shed her backpack and coat. "Sorry, it's snowin' outside. But... I'm not late."

Kerry put her hand on Fiona's shoulder, "Get warm. Dinner's ready to be warmed and there are cookies..." Juliana practically floated off the ground until Kerry continued, "...for after dinner." Juliana made a face and crossed her arms over her chest.

Kerry hid her smile as she put on her own coat and knelt down in front of her daughter. "We made you a very special Santa too."

Juliana threw her arms around Kerry's neck and kissed her cheek, "Love you Mama..."

Kerry hugged her daughter, "I love you too Juliana. Take care of Henry."

"Hey."

Kerry kissed her son's cheek as well, "I'll see you tomorrow."

Henry nodded, "Bye Mama." They watched as the door closed behind Kerry. Henry sighed, "I wish Mama didn't have to go."

"Well, she'll be back before Christmas Eve ends, and you get all day Christmas with her." Fiona pulled a book from her backpack, "And, then you wouldn't get to read this. Picked it up from the library on my way here for ya bud." Henry's mouth dropped open, "Ah, cool. Thank you Fiona."

"Oh, in payment, you'll be explaining some Calculus to me young boy."

Henry rolled his eyes, "Can we have dinner first Fiona?"

Fiona waved a hand towards the bedrooms, "Yeah, yeah, go get yourself and Jules cleaned up and I'll heat up dinner."

Henry nodded, "C'mon Jules, I'm hungry."

Juliana parroted her brother, "I'm hungry."

Fiona watched them go and let out a breath she'd been holding. For some reason, babysitting for Henry and Juliana always kept her on edge. She shook her head. It'd be more stressful if Juliana didn't get her cookies soon.

oOOOOo

"I'm fine, I tell you." Maggie Wyczenski shook her head and her gaze went to the one woman who had always been on her side. "Kim. Doctor Legaspi. Tell her I'm fine."

Kim looked like hell, her hair was pulled back in a ponytail, her cheeks hollow and somehow the rest of her body looked skinnier than she had been before. "You know that you will never be cured Maggie." Her voice was flat as well.

Maggie barely noticed though, she was much more focused on her daughter. The three women were in Kim's office. "I'm only better when I'm on my meds. I know that. I swear Abby, I miscounted, and was a day short. The refill is probably at the pharmacy right now."

Abby stared at her mother. "I... I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted, and... I'm sorry that I've given you even the thought that I'd go off my meds on purpose." She paused, "Should I pick up Joe from school tomorrow?"

"No. Randi was going to do it."

"Oh."

"No, no, no..." Abby stood, "That's not what I meant Maggie. She was, before..." Abby gestured, "all this, going to get Joe."

Kim spoke up, "Do you trust Maggie with Joe?"

"Yes, Maggie, Mom... I do trust you again. This, this has been the longest you've been on your meds my entire life, but I know myself and every time I see a bottle of booze there's a pull and... I don't know if going off your meds is anything like that, but..."

Maggie took a step forward and hugged her daughter. "I love you Abby." She stepped back, "And I really am so sorry that I've screwed you up so much. It means so much that you trust me again. I will triple count from now on. I will. I have so much to live for in this world, in the real world now."

Maggie turned and spoke to Kim, "Thank you Doctor Legaspi."

Kim nodded, "Next week."

Maggie nodded, "Next week." With one last squeeze of her daughter's hand she left the office.

Abby turned to Kim, "Are you okay Kim?"

Kim nodded as she stood and went behind her desk. "I'm fine, and you should get back to the ER. How's Allison doing? Settled in yet?"

"I think she's about to bail. Something about New Jersey?" Abby sighed, "She was seeing Tony though."

"Gates?"

Abby shrugged, "No accounting for taste I guess. And you're right, I should get back down to the ER." Abby paused at the door, "She's not doing great either you know. She doesn't look like death warmed over, like you do, but she's down too."

Kim looked up from her paperwork, "We'll both survive and move on. Keep caring about her. She likes to pretend that she needs no one, but she needs family just as much as the rest of us."

"We will care for both of you, and wait for the day you two remove your heads from your asses and reconcile."

oOOOOo

"Goin' home for Christmas Cassie?"

Cassie took a chart from the rack and glanced up at the board. "Nope. Home's coming to me, I hope. We'll see. You?"

Allison Cameron shook her head, "I'm on for Christmas, volunteered. I don't mind, might as well give someone a chance to have time with their family."

Cassie held up two charts, "Want me to take the possible UTI?"

Allison grabbed the other one, "All yours."

Cassie chuckled as Allison caught Chaz and an Inter and they went into exam four. Cassie studied the chart and with a sigh started towards exam two. She was stopped when a short man got in her way. He had curly salt and pepper hair and he squinted through a pair of glasses up at Cassie. "I bet you're all legs love."

"Can I help you with something sir? If you're hurt you need to check in with the triage nurse."

"Kerry Weaver. She works here?" Cassie nodded, "I'd like to see her."

Cassie glanced around, but didn't spot the shock of red hair that indicated the Chief's precense. "She's probably with a patient, or perhaps in a meeting. Can I give her a message?"

"No, no, I think I'll surprise her."

"I'd advise you against that Mr..."

"Doctor Todd Ramos, and she'll love to see me. I'll wait in the lounge."

Cassie opened her mouth to object, but he was into the lounge before she could get out a word. She shook her head, "Right then..."

oOOOOo

"Mrs. Donovan?"

Kerry exited the trauma rooms as the brunette looked up. Next to her stood a young boy who looked nine or so.

The woman spoke, "You don't recognize me?"

Kerry looked up from the chart, "I'm sorry, I don't. Now if you'd..."

"You saved my life, and Kerry's as well."

That got Kerry's attention, "Excuse me?"

"Vicky Donovan. You delivered Kerry Michael. It took quite a bit to finally find out your name."

Kerry stood, stunned for a moment, then her professionalism kicked back in,

"It's good to see you're doing well. Your... Sean is stable and should be on his way to surgery momentarily."

The nine year old cleared his throat and Kerry looked down at him. "Will my Dad be okay Doctor Weaver?"

"I don't know son. He hit his head very badly, but we have very good surgeons who are going to try to help him."

Vicky pulled her son closer to her. "Thank you Doctor Weaver."

They all moved as a nurse and orderly pushed Sean Donovan's gurney out into the hall and towards the elevator.

Kerry watched them for a moment before she turned to go back to work. She wound up looking up at Kim. "Kim."

"Kerry."

Kim moved to one side and Kerry continued to the doctor's lounge and pushed through the door.

Everyone in the ER looked up as a growl came from just inside the doctor's lounge, followed by Todd Ramos stumbling backwards out into the ER. "Hey babe, I was just stopping down here to say hello, see if you wanted to get a drink."

Even from where Kim stood she could see a muscle on the left side of Kerry's face jump. "No thank you Todd."

Todd put a hand on Kerry's shoulder, "That is perfectly okay hon. I was just hired here. Taking the place of an... Eddi... son?"

"Edson, Dale Edson."

Todd nodded, patted Kerry on the shoulder and took his hand away. "Exactly." He leaned over and kissed Kerry on the cheek, and then sauntered towards the elevators.

No one in the ER spoke, they didn't know what to say, and for once, after a brief pause, almost everyone resumed working without any urging.

Kim bit her tongue and closed her eyes for a moment so she wouldn't go over to Kerry and ask what the hell that scene had been about. Instead, she turned and went to find her consult. She slowly let her breath go and looked up as Allison Cameron joined her at the door to one of the trauma rooms.

Allison glanced over her shoulder, "Do you know who that was?"

Kim hugged her clipboard closer to her chest. "I have a sinking feeling that I do.. So... tell me why you want a psych consult on Mr... oh..." Kim trailed off, "...Kamtovik. Okay. I take that back. Has he asked for a popsicle enema yet?"

"Ah, no."

Kim nodded, "That's good. The last time I saw him he was setting himself on fire with alcohol wipes. We're gonna try to prevent that this time."

Allison pushed open the door and held it for Kim. "Sounds good to me."


	3. Chapter Two

** December 24th, 2010 **

"Checking up on me Kerry?"

Kerry leaned against the main nurse's station on the surgical floor. "Trust me, last thing on my mind right now is if you can do your job. Donovan, Sean. I think it's S-E, not S-H."

Erica glanced down at the desk and typed for a moment, "Alive. They took a piece of his skull and he's stable. Do you want to see him?"

Kerry shook her head, "No, no. A few years ago. Eight or nine years now I think. I delivered his son via C-Section in the back of a... slightly electrified ambulance." A slight smile came to Kerry's lips, "Met Sandy that night. Vicky Donovan and her son changed my life forever. I would have stayed in the closet, maybe even found a way to convince myself it was a phase that I really loved men." Kerry shook her head, "But you don't care and I got what I came for and will now take my leave before your... new surgeon appears."

"Doctor Ramos. You know him?"

Kerry nodded, "I do. Merry Christmas to me. The only thing that would make it better would be if my mother showed up too...

Erica glanced at the clock, "Technically, six am the 24th, Merry Christmas Eve Kerry. I wish you a mother free and Doctor Ramos free tomorrow."

oOOOOo

"And make sure you watch him closely."

The Psych nurse nodded and helped Mr. Kamtovik down the hall.

Kim walked towards the admit desk. She almost turned away when she saw red hair, but realized it was too long to be Kerry's. She put away the chart and spoke, "Helen right. Helen Kingsley?"

Helen turned from the desk. "How. Have we met?"

"No, but I've heard of you. Are you looking for Kerry?"

Helen nodded, holding her purse close to her chest. "Yes."

Kim sighed, "I'm not sure where Kerry is at the moment. I assume you're not here because you're hurt?"

Helen nodded, "Yes, I mean, I'm healthy. I... I heard she was found when we thought, when everyone thought... I heard that she was found, that she wasn't dead."

"Yes. She's alive and kickin'." Kim paused, "Look..." Kim looked up and over Helen's head and met Kerry's. She watched Kerry sigh, but the red head didn't halt her progress towards the two of them. "I need to go. Have a Merry Christmas Mrs. Kingsley."

Helen turned to where Kim had been looking and found her birth daughter. "Kerry."

"To what do I owe this..." She searched for the correct word and finally landed on, "...visit?"

"It's Christmas."

This didn't illuminate anything for Kerry. "I know that. Shouldn't you be with your family? Your son and daughter, your ex?"

Helen opened her mouth, but Abby appeared and interrupted the older woman. "Sorry ma'am. Quick question for Kerry. Maggie wants to bring a plus one? Will that be too many people, especially since Luka's going to be arriving then?"

"Nah, one more is fine Abby."

Abby sighed, "Yay..." This brought a slight smile to Kerry's face, "Abby, the answer can be no if you want it to be. I'm used to being the bitch."

Kerry was focused on Abby and so didn't see Helen's disapproving look.

Abby on the other hand rolled her eyes and shook her head, "No, no... it's alright. I may as well meet the guy right. Hey, did you hear that the Jumbo Mart sold their land to someone? Maybe they'll finally put something that isn't a burned out hulk in there after all these months."

"I hope so." Abby went back to work and Kerry gave her attention back to Helen, "Do you have somewhere to go for Christmas dinner Helen?"

"I wouldn't want to im..."

Kerry interrupted Helen. "You don't have to impose," she took a scrap piece of paper that Randi handed her and scribbled down her address, "but if you'd like to see that my family is just like yours or your kids' families, then come, eat. Tomorrow around one. People even say I'm not a bad cook."

With that she handed the pen back to Randi, grabbed a chart and caught Cassie's eyes. The young resident met Kerry halfway and took the chart from her boss. She glanced over her shoulder at Helen. "That family Chief?"

"Sort of. Is the Colonel coming home for Christmas?"

Cassie smirked, "You know, Sam finds you calling her the Colonel funny."

Kerry met Cassie's eyes, "I know. That's why I do it. So, will you be among family for Christmas?"

"If all goes according to plan-"

"-and nothing ever does for those you call friends and family."

Cassie shrugged, "Yeah, I think we're all going over to Nicole Fraiser's. It should be... interesting. It's been awhile since I had an extended family."

Kerry smiled a little at her resident, "Just remember that if you maim any of them, you'll get in trouble."

Cassie chuckled as they entered the exam room, "Right. I'll keep that in mind Chief."

oOOOOo

"Fiona, are you having Christmas too?"

Fiona nodded and put down her James Joyce. "I'll go to church tonight, midnight candlelight service with my family."

"With Kim?"

Fiona nodded, "Kim, Kevin, my twin brother Freddie, our parents."

Henry didn't seem to want to meet Fiona's eyes, so the college student waited. Henry finally spoke, "May I go with you? With Kim?"

Fiona made a face, "Have you asked your Mom? You guys aren't going?"

"No. I have to ask Mama?"

Fiona smiled to herself, "Oh, definitely, but if Doctor Weaver says yes, I know that Kim will love to have you there."

Henry took a breath, "Okay. Thank you."

Fiona chuckled and picked back up her book, "For what, you're the one who gets to ask your Mom the question bud."

"Oh, right." Fiona ruffled his hair. He went back to what he'd been reading and Fiona went back to her James Joyce.

oOOOOo

"Is it still sno..." Kerry trailed off, "You're not Randi."

"No."

"Why are you here?"

"I'm not sure. I've never been in your office you know. Are you okay? First the guy, then your mother."

Kerry glanced to her left and right. It was a small, cramped space, the size of one of the bigger maintenance closets. The desk and singular visitor's chair took up most of the space and Kim jumped as a loud banging started. "Heat. What do you want Kim?"

"Mr. Kamtovik was in today. I just... back when... I..." Kim trailed off and just stood there, silent.

Kerry looked back down at her desk and resumed working. "Have you kept track of him this time?"

Kim spoke from right next to Kerry, who's head snapped up, "We have." Their eyes met but Kim didn't speak again as she pulled Kerry to her feet and kissed her. Kerry didn't resist, they came for air and Kerry tried to speak, but Kim reclaimed her lips and lifted the smaller woman onto the desk. The visitor's chair went one way, and papers fluttered to the floor the other way. Kerry let go a gasp and she surrendered to what her body wanted not the scolding of her mind.


	4. Chapter Three

Kerry jerked as she felt a hand on her back. She turned "Randi?"

Randi carefully tucked in the side of Kerry's shirt. "Sorry Doctor Weaver, I was trying to be subtle. Aren't you off?"

"You invade my personal space, tuck in my shirt, and call me Doctor Weaver in the same two seconds, sometimes you're quite... a unique person Miranda." Kerry inclined her head towards the clerk, "Aren't you off too?" Randi shrugged, "How long have I been walking around... like I was?"

"Since this afternoon, wouldn't worry though. That's what lab coats were made for, right?"

Kerry sighed, "I'll see you tomorrow night Randi."

Randi gave a jaunty salute, "Yeppers. Merry Christmas Eve Doctor Weaver."

oOOOOo

Kim slowly pinched the pie crust around the edges of the dish. Her mother watched her oldest daughter as she mixed the pie filling. "What happened Kimberly."

Kim shook her head and made an annoyed noise as her thumb broke the dough. She carefully put it back together. "Nothing Mom. I just did something stupid and am still paying the price months later."

"Was it illegal?"

"No."

Nancy took the pie plate from her daughter and started filling it. Kim took more dough and started rolling it out for the second pie crust. "Did you hurt yourself?"

"Not in the short term, in the long term... maybe, probably."

Nancy sighed, "Oh, hon..."

Kim sighed, "I'll live Mom."

Nancy wrapped a hand around her taller daughter's waist. "Kim, sometimes life is about more than living but loving too."

Kim groaned, "Ma, you sound like the opening titles of some cheesy TV show."

Nancy took Kim's hands and placed them back on the dough, "Do you love her?"

"I cheated on her mom. She has every right to be pissed as hell at me. To make matters worse, today I didn't think, and now... I..."

Nancy put the covering over her mincemeat pie and made sure she wasn't looking at her daughter when she spoke the next words, "You had sex with her."

"Mommm..." Nancy smiled as after a few moments Kim sighed, "Yeah." Kim paused again, pinching the crust. "What am I supposed to do now Mom?"

Nancy thought for a moment, "Have you considered proposing? Seems to work for the guys. I believe Molly wanted to kill your brother before he proposed, and look at them, still married."

Kim made a face, "No way. I mean, I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I get that now, but words won't do, not this time. And proposing... no, that's a shortcut that she'll see right through."

Nancy took the second pie crust from Kim, "Sometimes the shortcuts is what both people need. And words are all we really have in the end Kim. Actions can lie too..."

oOOOOo

Henry sat in the back seat of his mother's car with a pinched look on his face. They had just visited Sandy's grave and were on their way home for dinner. Kerry glanced a couple of times in the rear view mirror before she spoke to her son. "Is something on your mind Henry?"

He rubbed the back of his neck and Kerry gripped the steering wheel a bit harder as her heart skipped a beat. That had been what Sandy would do when she was making a hard decision. Finally he spoke, "May I go with Fiona to the candlelight service Mama?"

Kerry read between her son's lines, "And Kim?"

Henry didn't move for a second, then nodded, "Yes... Fiona said it would be okay with them if it was okay with you. But she said I had to ask you Mama."

Kerry didn't answer her son until she helped him from the car. "You really want to go?" Henry nodded, "Okay. Do you want to tell Fiona before she goes home or do you want me to?"

Henry seemed to remove the world from his shoulders and he hugged Kerry and smiled, "I will Mama. Thank you Mama."

oOOOOo

Fiona popped her head into the kitchen, her coat and winter hat still on. "Hey Mom. I'm home. Hey big sis. Can we use Dad's car and pick up Henry on our way to church tonight?"

"Does Doctor Weaver know about this?"

Fiona rolled her eyes, "Of course Mom."

Nancy peeked in the oven, "Sure, of course we can." She turned to her elder daughter, "Are you okay with it Kim?"

Kim wiped her hands on a towel, "Yes. I love Henry." She left the kitchen without another word and

Nancy rolled her eyes. "Now if only you'd get your head out of your ass and do something about your love for Kerry."

Fiona chuckled, "Mom..."

"What?"

Fiona shook her head, "You'll tell me when we're leaving, I totally hate James Joyce and I have like... a sh... boatload of the book left to read."

Nancy made a shooing motion. She smiled as she heard Fiona's coat hit the chair in the hall. "Ah, my children..."

oOOOOo

Randi's head came up, "Ooh, did you buy the pies."

Randi could feel as Abby laughed and the brunette looked up from the journal she was reading. "Hell no. Bought pies to Kerry Weaver's house. Nope. Maggie made an Apple and a Pumpkin."

"Oh..."

Abby put her journal aside and lay back in Randi's arms. They were both reclined on the couch. Abby had been reading the Journal of Emergency Medicine and Randi had been asleep until the pie thought had popped into her head. Both Maggie and Joe were already asleep. "You know Kerry's an amazing cook. Doing the whole turkey thing, and probably a load of other crap that's amazing, definitely can't appear with store bought anything."

"Is Luka still on track to get here?"

Abby looked upside down at Randi, "You need to chill out, okay. Please?"

"Okay, okay. Want your present?"

Abby closed her eyes, "Nope. I'm gonna stay right where I am and do nothing until I have to get up so Joe doesn't find us in here."

Randi rolled her eyes, "Wanna set an alarm Mrs. Claus?"

Abby poked Randi in the stomach, "Hey now. My Christmas spirit was shot all to hell by Maggie when I was a kid, Joe's gonna believe in Santa for as long as he wants to. Got it?"

Randi smiled, "I love you."

"You're okay too..."

Randi gave Abby a poke back in the ribs. "Funny." Abby rolled over so that they were face to face. "Thought you weren't moving?"

Abby kissed Randi. "Changed my mind. Oh.. and I love you too Miranda."

oOOOOo

Henry sniffed and kept wiping at his eyes. Kim frowned down at him. She felt a shudder go through him and decided that he needed to talk more than they need the words and songs of the candlelight service. She grabbed his coat and guided him by the shoulders to the outside steps of the big white church.

They both sat. "What's wrong Henry?"

"It was Mama Sandy's favorite song..."

"O Holy Night?" Henry nodded and Kim hugged him to her. "You know that she's with you always. When you're listening to the song, so is she. And now, or at any time of the year you can talk to her, can feel her." Kim touched the middle of Henry's chest, "She's right there."

Henry put his hand over Kim's, trapping it there "Kim. Why'd you go away?"

Kim pursed her lips and scooted closer to Henry, removing her hand and putting her arms around him as he shivered. "I made a mistake Henry. A bad one. A big one."

Henry looked up at Kim, "So, say you're sorry. Then Mama will hug you and it'll be okay again. I broke one of Mama's vases from Mr. Mlungisi. She was sad, but when I said I'm sorry Mama forgave me and hugged me."

Kim gave Henry a squeeze, "This is different than a vase kiddo."

"Don't you love my Mama?"

Kim nodded, "I do."

"And Mama loves you."

Kim nodded again, "I believe she does." Kim paused and took a moment to figure out how to phrase what she was trying to say. Henry was smart, but he was still a kid. "This isn't about love Henry, or even forgiveness, this is about trust."

Henry frowned, "Mama doesn't trust you?" Kim nodded, "How do you make her trust you again Kim?"

Kim narrowed her eyes at Henry, "Can you... make... your Mom do anything Henry?"

Henry's nose wrinkled a bit, "How do you ask her to trust you again?"

"I'm not sure bud. But..." She tickled his ribs and he squirmed with a giggle. "I don't want you to worry about it so much Henry. Can you do that for me? Your Mom's a big girl and so am I..." She ruffled his hair, "Don't worry. Please."

Henry sighed, "I'll try."

"Ooh..." Kim let go of Henry and retrieved a wrapped present from her bag, "I almost forgot. I got you a present."

Henry held it in his hands, "May I open it?"

"Of course." Kim paused, "unless you want to wait until tomorrow morning and open it with your sister and Mom."

"Oh, yeah."

They both looked up as the church doors opened and people started streaming out, "Ready to go home?"

Henry didn't answer, but threw his arms around Kim and he hugged her until there was a cough. Kim let go and turned to face her little sister. "Fiona, could you get Henry home?"

Kim turned back and kissed the top of Henry's head. "I'll see you sometime soon bud." And then she walked down the sidewalk away from where the Legsaspis had parked.

Fiona glance between Henry and her sister's retreating back. Nancy appeared. "Should we... wait? Follow?"

Nancy shook her head, "Let her have her time alone Fiona. I bet you're tired Henry."

Henry nodded and let a gigantic yawn out.

"Then let's get you home so sugar plums can dance in your head."

oOOOOo

Kim barely made it around the side of the church before a spasm shook her chest. She tried to hold herself up on the wall, but the strength had gone out of her and she slid to the ground as tears streamed down her cheeks.

It started snowing again and Kim looked up in to it. "I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry..."

"I find it is always more constructive to apologize to the one you wronged Ms. Legaspi, though God does hear you as well." Kim squinted up at the white haired Reverend that had been her pastor since she had been Henry's age, "Rev?"

He held a hand out and Kim stared at it, "I do not want to oversee your funeral because you caught your death by my church." Kim took the hand and stood, "Now I saw you duck out of my service with that young man. We can talk." Kim didn't move, "Come, come, let's get you warm. Frozen tears are hell on your skin."

oOOOOo

Kerry thought Henry had fallen asleep as she tucked in her son. But he hadn't, "Mama... you should trust Kim."

"Oh?"

"Yes. I said that you forgave me when I broke the vase, that you could forgive her too."

Kerry folded her hands in her lap, "And what did she say?"

Henry pushed himself up a little, "That it wasn't about forgiving her, but that you didn't trust her."

"And?"

Henry bit his lip, "Uh, that I shouldn't worry..."

Kerry smiled, "And are you worrying?"

"Oh, well, yeah. But you should trust her Mama."

Kerry stood and pulled up Henry's covers, "Did she say that?"

Henry made a pffftt sound, "No."

Kerry kissed the top of his head and smiled, "Have sweet dreams my favorite son."

Henry let go a big yawn, "I will Mama... love you."

"I love you too Henry."

oOOOOo

The pastor and parishioner sat across from one another, both silent. They both had a mug in their hands filled with hot chocolate.

It was Pastor Stephen who spoke first, "So, when you were speaking to the snow... what were you sorry about?"

"Henry, the boy... I hurt him. I... screwed up and he became collateral damage. His mother warned me that we shouldn't... try again, but I always have all the answers."

Pastor Stephen took a sip of his cocoa. "This Henry, how old is he?"

"He'll be seven in January. He's smart for his age, but he's still a little kid who first lost his mother, then he lost Courtney."

Pastor Stephen held up a finger, "I thought you were in love with his mother?"

Kim frowned, "I am. He had two mothers."

Pastor Stephen shook his head and sat back, "Right, right, sorry. It's late and at this late hour same sex marriage makes my head hurt."

Kim's frown morphed into confusion, "Excuse me?"

"Oh, I didn't mean it in a bad way. I've married more than one gay couple, at least in the eyes of God, still you are just people and I was raised in the one man, one women dogma, so sometimes I forget that there are families out there with two mothers or two fathers. So, it sounds as if Henry has been through the ringer and you feel as you did more harm."

Kim sighed, "He hugged me like... like... he hugged me in a way I've never been hugged by a kid. Even by my nephew or niece, or my little cousins. He expects Kerry and I will get back together."

"Do you want to?"

"Yes."

Pastor Stephen gave a short nod, "Then you should."

A choked laugh escaped from Kim, "You make it sound easy. She has no reason to trust me, and I can't think of a damn reason why she should." Pastor Stephen cleared his throat and Kim turned a bit pink, "Sorry Rev."

Pastor Stephen stood and Kim followed suit, "Now, I assume that you want my opinion? Otherwise you would have told me to pound sand outside." Kim nodded, "Talk to her Kimberly. Perhaps you will find that she is more willing to trust you again than you think. After all, we're all simply human. And human beings make mistakes. It's what we do after those mistakes that make the difference."

Kim put her hand out. Pastor Stephen took it, then pulled her into a hug. "Merry Christmas Kim, and never forget that God loves you."

"Even when I'm fu... screwing up my life?"

Pastor Stephen pulled away with a smile, "Especially then Kimberly."


	5. Chapter Four

** December 25th, 2010 **

"Don't dance while you chew young man."

Kerry winced as Henry practically swallowed the rest of his cookie whole. "Henry Guillermo Lopez Weaver."

He grabbed his mother's hand and pulled until she stood. "Dance Mama. The presents are open and there's room, dance Mama..."

She bobbed her head as the woman on the recording sang that all s he wanted for Christmas was you, to a bouncy beat. Juliana stood, a bit wobbly and held her hands up. Kerry swooped her up and all three danced around the wrapping paper strewn living room until the song ended.

Henry sank to the ground. Kerry put Juliana down and sat next to him. "I love you Mama..."

"'Cause of all the amazing presents I got you?"

Henry pushed at Kerry's knee, "Mama..."

Kerry smirked and ruffled his hair, "Hey, had to check buddy. And I love you too. And you too Juliana, but young lady, do Not touch that package Juliana Catherine."

Kerry scooted backwards and grabbed the surprisingly heavy mid sized package. She read the tag. "From Kim? Don't you want to open this Henry?" Henry stared at the carpet and shook his head, "Why not?"

"Because I don't want to Mama. Okay? I don't wanna." He stood and slowly stalked down the hall.

Kerry watched him go and felt a little hand on the package. She turned her gaze to her daughter, who smiled and laughed as Kerry shook her head, "Oh, you think you're funny huh little one? This is for your brother. Hey, you want to play with your bristle blocks?"

"Yes Mama." Kerry pulled over the large circular cardboard container and reached in. She pulled out a couple of colorful plastic brillow pad looking things and stuck them together. "So, what are we going to build."

"A house Mama."

The doorbell rang and Kerry stood, "Start without me, maybe Joe will help you if that's him."

She opened the front door, "Abby, Randi... hey Joe. Juliana's in the living room, but Henry's taking a little break from the fun." Joe escaped past the adults and into the living room. Kerry glanced behind Randi before she closed the door, "I thought Maggie was coming?"

Abby sighed, "Still is, had to pick up her plus one. So, where's the Egg Nog? If I can't have booze while my mother cavorts with a man I need fat and horribly bad for me carbs."

Kerry chuckled, "Fridge, and could you turn down the turkey twenty degrees or so while you're in there?"

Abby gave a faux salute and went into the kitchen. Randi hung up both their coats. "Are you aware that your Mrs. Kingsley's across the street, probably trying to decide whether to come into the den of sin or not."

"I wasn't, no... well, she has to make her own decisions. I'm not going to go out there and force the issue. So, is... you know who running on time?"

"Amazingly, yes. He just should have landed and hopefully is sloshing his way over here as we speak."

Kerry let go a breath, "Good."

The doorbell rang again. Randi turned and pulled open the door, nearly causing Carlos to fall on his butt, "Damn that was fast."

Kerry rolled her eyes as Randi took his coat. Kerry gave Carlos a hug as Randi escaped to the kitchen. "I thought you'd be with your family today Carlos."

"I am." Kerry narrowed her eyes at the younger man and he shrugged, "I spent the morning there, but then Dad and I... and Mama's still feeling the death of Aunt Natalia. I needed to get out of there to somewhere with... with my favorite nephew." He paused, "And, speaking of dust ups, I heard you and some guy named Ramos got into it. Want me to set him straight?"

"No."

Carlos gave Kerry a look up and down, "Who is he anyway?"

"My ex husband."

Carlos winced, "Ah, right. Are you sure?"

Kerry put an arm around Carlos' waist, "I'm sure. Thank you though. Now, I have no doubt that Juliana has made a brilliant bristle block creation, you need to go in there and see it."

"Whoa... you got her Bristle blocks? That's so retro. Where did you find them?"

"Trade secret." They had just gotten to the living room when the doorbell rang again. Everyone looked up, but Kerry put a hand up, "I'll get it."

She went back to the entrance way and opened the door. Hell stood in front of her. To her left stood Todd Ramos, her ex, with way too a happy look on his face, and next to him stood Maggie. Finally, next to Maggie stood an uncomfortable looking Helen Kingsley.

It was Todd who broke the silence, "Who knew you actually had a real mother. A mother that doesn't breathe fire and doesn't feel the need to remind me that she hated my guts."

Kerry but her tongue and took a step back, letting them inside and out of the flurries that had started. "You must be Maggie's plus one."

Todd flashed a smile, "Oh yes. I didn't know we were going to an Christmas feast though."

Maggie opened her mouth to speak, but Henry appeared in the entrance way and Todd cut her off. "Holy shit."

"Language Todd." Kerry put a hand to her head to calm herself, then spoke to her son. "Did you need something Henry?"

"I'm sorry Mama... I'm sorry."

Kerry knelt down in front of Henry, "It's okay. Hey, Uncle Carlos and Joe are here. Oh, that reminds me." She turned her head towards the kitchen and called, "Abby."

Abby stuck her head out of the living room, "You bellowed Chief oh my Chief?"

Kerry rolled her eyes, "That fat's already gone to your head. I believe you've forgotten something in the car."

Abby's lips pursed, "Oh... da-schel hound." She put down her glass of Egg Nog, then picked it back up when Kerry pinned her with a look, "First I'll find a coaster." A hand appeared and put down a coaster on the end table next to Abby. "Thanks Randi..."

She took her coat as she passed by the hooks and was out the door.

Maggie finally got her chance to speak, "Kerry, I didn't kno..."

Kerry held her hand up and spoke with a glance at Todd. "It's okay Maggie. He's just as much family as your daughter is in some ways. Not to mention my mother would roll over in her grave if she knew that I turned someone away on Christmas Day. It was her favorite holiday. Please, please, come in, make yourself at home." She took their jackets and hung them as they moved into the living room.

Helen didn't move, "Helen?"

Helen met Kerry's eyes, "I shouldn't have come. I..."

Kerry gave a short laugh, "My ex-husband is here. Even you have more a right to be here than him." Kerry glanced over where Henry was till standing quietly. She held out her hand and Henry took it. "Would you like to meet your grandmother Henry?"

Henry frowned, "I thought Grandma Catherine was my other Grandma?"

Kerry nodded, "She was. Grandma Catherine and Grandpa Henry adopted me. They weren't my birth parents, they adopted me because they wanted a child so, so much. This is my birth Mom. Helen."

Henry looked up at Helen for a long moment, then he held his hand out. "It's nice to meet you, I'm Henry."

Helen was only thrown off for a moment before she took Henry's hand and shook it gently. "It's a pleasure to meet you too Henry."

Henry took back his hand and turned to his Mom, "Is it almost dinner Mama?" Kerry nodded, "I'm gonna play 'til then," and he was off to join everyone else in the living room.

"He's so..." Helen shook her head, "Thank you for introducing us."

"Would you like to stay?"

"Are you sure?"

Kerry shrugged, "Yes. I can introduce you to my daughter as well." Kerry held out her hand for Helen's coat and waited. It was a long moment, but Helen finally put her coat in her daughter's hand.

Helen carefully made her way to the living room. Kerry shook her head as she watched her. She mumbled to herself. "She's a swimming pool toe dipper... how in the world are we related." She nearly jumped out of her skin as the doorbell rang again. She opened it. Abby stood there with a pie in each hand and Luka next to her.

Kerry smiled, "Luka." They hugged. "Finally, a bit of positive for this party. I'll take those." She took the pies from Abby. "Go, go, surprise your son. It's nearly time for turkey."

Kerry took the pies into the kitchen and smiled to herself when she heard Joe's excited voice. The smile left her face as Todd appeared. "Kerry."

Kerry didn't turn, "Todd."

"Need any help?"

Kerry stopped moving and didn't move for a moment, finally she spoke, "Mash the potatoes. Orange pot on the stove."

Todd clicked his heels together and gave a nod. "Yes ma'am. So, Henry doesn't look like your kid. He mine?"

Kerry shook her head, "You're pathetic, you know that? He's six. I know you suck at math, but we've been divorced for twenty years."

Todd took the potato masher off its hook and plunged it into the pot. "So, will the father be joining us?"

"No."

Todd smirked, "Ah, so you cut off his balls too."

Kerry sighed, "No, no, that would have been hard to do to Henry's other parent. What do you want Todd? I'm sick of your word games."

"Two exes can't just talk, we were married once, remember?" Kerry opened the stove and Todd spoke up again, "Need help getting it out."

"I've never needed any help from you Todd Ramos. So, no." She pulled the turkey on its pan from the stove and put it on the burners. "And yes, I remember we were married. Two years of work, yelling matches, and sex. I repeat, what do you want?"

Todd finished mashing the potatoes, put their lid on and put them back on the still warm but turned off burner. "You said yourself, it's been nineteen years. I thought perhaps we could put it behind us."

Kerry finally turned it around, "Fine. Abracadabra, it's behind us." Henry appeared, "Would you set the table please Henry?"

"Yes Mama."

Todd watched the interaction and shook his head as Henry went into the dining room, "Always thought you'd suck as a mother. Guess I was wrong huh?"


	6. Chapter Five

Kim handed a plate to her brother Kevin. They had been washing the dishes in silence since the end of dinner. They were nearly done when Kevin spoke, "Thank you for the pen and pencil set. They're beautiful and probably won't snap in half like my old ones."

"Dad gave the old ones to you right? When you turned eighteen I think?" Kevin nodded as he dried a knife. "Do you still have the wooden car Dad gave you? Does he still get on you about not having solved it?"

Kevin thought a moment while wiping the moisture from a fork. "Of course he does. And I think that Mary and John try to figure out how to get it open now and then, why?"

Kim shrugged as she turned off the water and wiped her hands on a towel, "I gave my truck to Henry, as a present I mean."

Kim realized that Kevin was staring at her and turned to face him. "What did I say?"

Kevin put a hand on Kim's forehead. "You've spent our whole life tryin' to get it open, you just gave it away?"

Kim shrugged and removed Kevin's hand from her head, "He'll figure it out. It will be a challenge to him, and I think sometimes he's not challenged enough."

Kevin crossed his arms over his chest, "You love him, after, what, only a year?"

Kim tilted her head to one side, "And how long did it take you to fall in love with your daughter Mary, or your son John?"

Kevin paused, "Ah, okay, good point. What are you doing here? You should be there, you want to be there. So be there. Kerry will tell you if she doesn't want you to be there, but don't make the decision for her little sis. That's not fair to either of you."

Kim stared at her brother. "Will you tell Mom and Dad I'll be back for some pie later?"

"Tomorrow, I'll tell her you'll be back tomorrow, for either pie or a shoulder to cry on."

Kim kissed Kevin on the cheek, "Thank you little bro."

oOOOOo

Kerry stood at the nurses' station on the surgical floor. A voice called to her from by the elevators. "Hey, you Doc. Takin' a bus man's holiday?"

"Nope. Just here for a minute." Kerry turned with a half smile, "So, Mr. Thirty-Eight, does you hair still stand up at odd times Brady?"

He got to the desk stopped next to Kerry. "Only when I think shocking thoughts." He engulfed the much shorter woman in a hug, then stepped back. "So, what's this I hear about a guy giving you trouble?"

Kerry sighed, "I just had this conversation with Carlos. I can take care of myself Brady."

"Yeah, but he's just an EMT." Kerry rolled her eyes as Brady continued, "Seriously, you should be with your son and daughter. Why are you here?"

Kerry sighed, "Vicky Donovan, the night you got your little shock. She called me. She..."

Brady cut Kerry off, "She's my sister. Vicky Brady Donovan. You're here, she asked you to come in to be here when they take Sean off the machines?" Kerry nodded, "He's.. he was a good man."

Kerry sighed, "What the hell happened?" She put Sean's paper chart back, "I thought he was doing well?"

Brady shook his head, "It didn't last long. The pressure... and I believe he then had a stroke as well, and..." Kerry and Brady stopped at the door to Sean's room and looked in. "You don't have to do this. Vicky has me. Our parents are on their way as well."

Kerry stared into the room, "I need to do this when Vicky was simply the woman who brought me Sandy... now I find that she's your sister. That sort of makes us family right?"

Brady smiled sadly, "Yes, it does. Are you ready?"

"Never. You?"

"As I'll ever be." He pushed through the door, "Vicky."


	7. Chapter Six

Kerry stood in her entrance way and stared into her living room. It was chaos. A chaos that made her ER look orderly. Her birth mother was lecturing her son in a loud voice, her ex-husband was nearly red yelling at Randi. Abby and Randi were giving as good as they got. Luka was actually holding Randi back, barely keeping her from attacking Todd. Maggie had a slightly more gentle restraining arm around her daughter as well. Even Carlos was in on the action as he was faced off against of all people, "Kim?"

Kerry still hadn't moved from the entrance way, even still had on her coat. She mumbled to herself, "First rule of an accident site, don't create more casualties. Including yourself." She waited for peple to cool down, but no one seemed to be even near that point.

Then her son burst into tears and Kerry couldn't observe anymore. She strode into the room and as she predicted half of the room was happy to see her, the other wasn't. Then there was Henry and Kim. Henry dashed over to his mother and Kerry picked him up with only a little groan. "You're almost too big for this Henry. Hey, it's okay, it's okay."

And then there was Kim. Kerry couldn't tell what Kim was thinking by the look on her face. She just stood perfectly still, her arms crossed protectively over her chest.

Kerry whispered to her son, "Where are Joe and Jules?"

Henry sniffled, "My room."

Kerry pushed Henry's bangs from his eyes. "You need a haircut. Will you go keep 'em company? Okay? I'll be right in."

Henry nodded, "May I take them desert Mama? I know, no cookies in bed, but..."

"It's okay. Just put them on a plate, okay?"

Henry nodded and Kerry let him down. She turned to face her living room full of people once again and in an unearthly calm voice spoke, "What the hell is wrong with you people?"

"Your boy thinks he's Jewish."

Kerry pinched the bridge of her nose, it was as good a place to start as any. "No, he wants to learn about Judaism, in the future, maybe he'll chose it over Christianity, maybe not, maybe Buddhism, or.. I don't know what. He also went to the midnight Christmas service with the Legaspis last night. And never, ever, raise your voice to my son EVER again." She turned to Abby, Randi and Luka. "And you?"

Abby shrugged off her mother's arms, "Kim was barely in the door before this... this... Todd... hit on her. Not to mention on me and Randi..." She laid her hand over her chest, "I'm the only one who gets to treat my mother that badly."

Kerry glanced over at Carlos and Kim, "And you two?"

Carlos shook his head and when Kerry looked at Kim the blonde woman simply stared back at the redhead.

Kerry looked around, "Okay. Party's over. You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here. This is my home, and there has been enough fighting for... forever in here. Leave, or I'll make you leave."

It was Todd who spoke, "You're serious?"

Kerry turned on her heel and made her way to Henry's bedroom. She knocked on the door and heard a 'come in'. She did. "Hey guys. Joe. I think you're about to head home." He stood and looked over at the empty plate where the cookies had been. "Ah, and don't forget to tell your Mom to take some cookies with her."

Henry spoke up helpfully, "But not too many Joe."

Kerry hid a smile and just a bit of tension left her face. The two boys hugged and then Joe stopped by Kerry. "Thank you Doctor Weaver, it was really yummy before all the yelling and stuff."

"You're welcome Joe. Have a Merry rest of Christmas okay?"

Joe nodded and left the mother and two kids alone. Kerry closed the door behind him. "Are you okay Henry?"

Henry shrugged, "Doctor Ramos was sayin' bad things about you and then Abby and Randi yelled back. And I told your Mama Helen that I was gonna learn about being Jewish 'cause I might wanna be one, and she went all fluster-y." Henry trailed off.

"And Carlos?"

Henry bit the inside of his lip, "You Mama, yelling at Kim because she... she broke your heart. But Mama, broken hearts mean you're gonna die, are you..."

Kerry sat on Henry's bed and pulled him close. "I'm as healthy as ever buddy. What Carlos meant was that Kim made me sad."

Henry nodded, "Kim didn't say anything Mama, the whole time... it... it hurt my tummy to be in there."

Kerry sighed and ran her hand in circles on his back, "Are you okay Henry?"

Henry nodded, "Jules was gonna cry 'cause of all the screaming and yelling and so I said that Joe should take her to my room and they should play."

Kerry put a hand on the top of Henry's head and smiled, "What would I do without you Henry Guillermo?"

Henry thought for a moment, then smiled, "Be really bored Mama, and really sad."

Kerry chuckled, "Rhetorical question kiddo."

Henry giggled, "I know Mama."

Kerry waved tickling fingers at him, "Oh, a smart-y pants huh?" She stood and picked him up. She swung him around once. Of course, that meant that Juliana wanted to do it too, and Kerry obliged.

When she put her little girl down Henry spoke, "If Kim's still here, can I open... may I open her present to me?"

Kerry nodded as she opened the bedroom door, "Let's go find out."

They surprised Kim, who was standing in the entrance way with her coat halfway on. "Oh, I'm sorry, I was too slow. I..."

Henry got a hold of one of her hands, "You have to stay Kim."

"Henry."

Kerry cleared up the situation. "He wants to open his present in front of you."

"Oh."

"Come on in, and take off your coat. It takes my little obsessive tape remover man a bit of time to open presents."

They all adjourned to the living room. Juliana and Henry on the floor and Kim and Kerry on opposite ends of the couch. They watched as Henry started to carefully, without ripping, remove the paper. Kim glanced over at Kerry and back to the safer Henry. "I'm sorry by the way. I appeared, and suddenly it was chaos."

Kerry shook her head, "When you step into my life, chaos does seem to follow more often than not."

"What happened? Why'd you leave your own Christmas dinner?"

Kerry sighed, still watching her son, "A former patient's husband died. Brain dead. I saved her and delivered her child, eight or nine years ago, and..." Kerry shook her head, "Anyway..."

"I'm sorry."

Henry had gotten to the present and studied it, "It's a truck." It was a pickup style truck made entirely out of wood, just under twelves inches long, and a little less than half that tall.

Kim nodded and sat forward a bit. "It is. My Dad made it for me when I was about your age. And it is a truck, but it's more than a truck too. There's a way to get it open without breaking it. Now, I've been trying since I got it, but I haven't able to yet."

Henry looked down at the truck with a new appreciation, "I can try?"

Kim smiled, "I bet you'll figure it out in no time bud. That's why I gave it to you."

Henry put down the truck, stood, and engulfed Kim in a hug like he had the night before. "Thank you."

She hugged him back, "You're very welcome Henry. Now..."

Henry cut Kim off as he stepped back, "You wanna talk to Mama alone." He picked up his truck and took Juliana's hand. "I'm gonna figure out the truck. C'mon Jules, you can help me."

An uncomfortable silence fell over the living room. Kerry finally broke it, "Sorry about last night. All the questions, he has a tendency to grill people and try and figure out the why of everything."

"It's fine. I tried to get him not to worry."

Kerry leaned her head back and closed her eyes, "That's like telling a light not to shine. That's how Sandy was with things too. She'd get a hold of something and wouldn't let it go until it was solved or finished. It's why she was a good firefighter." Kerry sighed, "It's why she died."

Kim paused for a moment, then asked something Kerry wasn't expecting, "How about Courtney? What did you love about her?"

Kerry smiled, though her eyes were still closed, "The way she could just let things go without a second thought." Kerry sighed, "Isn't that screwed up, I loved 'em for two totally opposite reasons."

"Uh, I believe that's why it's called love, not logic. You said that I throw your life into chaos, but I'm different in another way too you know..."

Kerry opened her eyes and turned on the couch to face Kim, "What?"

"Mlungisi, Sandy, Courtney, Todd. What do they have in common?"

Kerry narrowed her eyes at Kim. "I have dated more than just four people Kim. You're saying I have a type, I do not have a type."

Kim inclined her head, "Okay, but did you love them? Let's take Ellis, tell me with a straight face that you loved him like you did Todd."

Kerry didn't speak, just stared at Kim, "The difference with Ellis West was that you didn't love him."

Kerry finally found her voice, "Oh, you know that?"

"Hey," Kim held her hands up. "Hey, I'm a head doc, I'm paid to know that stuff."

Kerry cheek jumped, "Okay head doc, then if I have this unshakable type, this pattern of who I love, why do I love you Miss Blonde and Aryan?"

Kim put a hand to her heart, "I'll have you know that I have a bit of Crow and Mohawk on my father's side, a smidgen, maybe a little less than a smidgen, Grandma Victoria has the tree to prove it."

Kerry shook her head dismissively, "The family you're born to is always overrated."

They both fell silent for a moment. Kim spoke softly, "Maybe that's why I'm scared."

"Because you don't think you're my type? I broke it off romantically with both Mlungisi and Todd. Broke up with Sanna at one point too."

"What if..."

Kerry cut Kim off as she moved down the couch until they were nearly touching, "What if all this talk of type, and gender, and everything is all crap. If it was true that we only get one person in every life, one chance for perfect happiness then how do you explain me? I loved Mlungisi just as much as Courtney. When I look at you," Kerry put a hand on Kim's cheek, "I love you just as much as I did Sandy." Kerry stared into Kim's eyes as long as she could, then looked away, letting her hand drop as well. "It's my fault too. I'm always Sandy this, Courtney that." She looked at Kim again, "It must have seemed to you as though you always came in second."

"I know that she.. both of them will always be part of you, of your life Kerry. So, I disagree, this time, it was definitely me. I thoroughly fucked up. And I'm sorry." Kim took Kerry's hand in her own, "My mother thinks me asking you to marry me will help the situation."

"Oh?"

"And Reverend Stephen said that I should let you trust me if you do trust me."

"So what's the verdict?"

Kim turned her head and kissed the palm of Kerry's hand, "It was stupid to have sex with you in your office." Kerry opened her mouth to respond, but Kim wasn't done. "I could apologize again and again for sleeping with Christy. And I am sorry, so, so sorry. I could make excuses, that I thought you were dead and that I was seriously drunk. I could tell you that I won't ever look at another woman or think about one, or I could shout from the rooftops just how much I love you Kerry Weaver. But none of what I could tell you with words would be anything other than just words. I do love you, and Henry, and Juliana, and everyday for the rest of my life I'd like to be able to show you that. If that means a ring and ceremony, or just pieces of paper and promises between us, either way, I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

"Okay."

Kim blinked and was stunned silent for almost a minute, "Wait, what?"

"I broke up with you without hysterics, so we're getting back together that way too. Life's too short. I've been hurt before, if you hurt me again, I'll live, but as I watched Vicky let go of Sean I realized that I'd rather love you in the now than worry about what tomorrow will bring."

"Oh."

Kerry laughed, "I believe this is where you're supposed to kiss me." Kerry continued her thought in a mumble, "Among other things."

"What? Ohh.." Kerry didn't wait for Kim to come out of her stupor, but leaned forward and caught Kim's lips before they could speak another word. She lowered herself until she was on top of Kim and the two women seemed to be trying to become one. That is until Kim heard little footsteps. She jerked up and Kerry gave a yelp as she wound up on the floor on her butt.

Henry appeared with Juliana not far behind, "Mama, you're on the floor."

Kerry shot Kim a look, and Kim knew enough to look sheepish, "I am on the floor."

"It's time for The Grinch Mama."

Kerry got to a sitting position, "You're right. You want to get it off the shelf?"

Henry nodded and went to the collection of CDs and DVDs, plucking 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas', the original version, from its place on the shelf as Kerry got off the floor and back onto the couch. Juliana had already taken up residence on Kim's lap and Kerry sat right next to the blonde.

Henry put the disc in, retrieved the remote and came back to the couch. He frowned at the two adults. "Can I be in the middle please?"

Kim smirked and Kerry shot her another look, "Of course Henry."

Henry climbed up, "Are you staying Kim?"

Kim nodded, then looked over at Kerry, "Is that okay? I've never seen The Grinch." Mother and son stared at her as if she'd grown antlers. In that look they looked more like mother and son than Kim had ever seen before. "What? I haven't."

Kerry put an arm around Henry as the young boy studied the remote for a minute, then hit play. "Then I guess you'll learn something tonight."

Kim watched as the warnings were shown, "Is this the one with the Jim guy, the comic?"

Kerry groaned, "Just shush and watch Kim. One with the comic." She shook her head, "So young, and so much to learn." The opening rolled.


End file.
